I am celebrating 7 years of being cancer free. I look back at this Face Book post made on June 29, 2015 and thank my Creator for every day I have had since then. It’s interesting to note that the Holy Spirit prepared me for the cancer diagnosis before it was given. I want to tell everyone how much I appreciated your prayers as I went through the chemo and surgery. I actually felt them. Thank you to each and everyone of you. I ask Jesus to give each one of you a very special blessing today and a crown of mercy when you meet me in heaven. I love you all.
Face Book June 29, 2015
I’m preparing for a medical procedure this morning. For those of you who know me, you know every cell in my body reacts violently to anything medical.
My mother had a form of Münchausen syndrome by proxy (mothers who have an advantage in their children being ill). According to aunt Betty, I had my stomach pumped 29 times before my 2nd birthday. I was treated for protein deficiency at 3 yrs of age to save my life and had to have a series of painful shots. I was put in steam tents in the hospital for pneumonia because my lungs were filled with fluid. I almost died from a combination of I don’t know what at 5 yrs of age and was in the hospital for so long I missed my first -first grade class. Dad was called home from service to see me and promised me a doll if I hung in there. At 6 I had my tonsils out, except my blood was too thin and it was up to mom to feed me jello until the day of surgery (which she forgot to do until the day of the surgery and then gave me liquid jello to drink.) Bleeding became a point of major contention during the surgery.
I love my mother dearly because you would have to know her background to know why she acted out this way. I also respect her in many, many ways. I especially admire her for her strength and independence.
Read about her mother’s life in: “The Demons of the Wisemen” by Barbara Grover on Amazon.
I believe if we don’t honor those who gave us life, we don’t honor our creator. I have repented for the awful daughter I was to her. She is in heaven, knows my love, and it is no longer an issue.
Now, I post this very personal email in order to share with others how I’ve learned to get through what feels like a terrifying ordeal:
Step One: Denial is a very healthy coping mechanism. Put your thoughts away until you need to take action. Step Two: Never allow your mind to go to worst case scenarios, always assume the best. Step Three: The closer the date gets – use detractions. Stay busy. Step Four: Pray for the Spirit of Truth, the Holy Spirit, to give you a wonderful sleep (I did) and to keep fear far away. Step Five: Now that the moment is near, look beyond the ordeal to visualize how happy you will be once it is over. Halleluiah! I picked up on Step Five when I read that Christ went to the cross joyfully looking beyond to the results that would follow. Step Six: I tell myself “this is my finest hour.”
Other great thought patterns: God is in control, things will get better not worse, I am Okay now and now is all that matters, and I am valuable to the people who love me.
So, I have thirty six minutes and 13 seconds before leaving the house. As dramatic as this sounds: I want to tell everyone (yes everyone) as broken as I am-I love y’all.
(Cuz I know a secret. We’re all broken in our own way.)
Set up for 9 Chemo treatments plus a pump that pumped chemo directly into my body 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I heard the pump “clacking” all night and yet I curled up around it knowing God was in control and slept like a baby. I always thought I would lose my mind if I ever was diagnosed with Cancer but the presence of Jesus was right beside me.
My friend shaved my head in our backyard. I didn’t want to wake up with my hair on my pillow.
My niece made a doll-house like box with 9 drawers to open. Inside she had people put treasures in where I could open and have after each chemo treatment. The first one had notes from my friends, jewelry, rocks with words like faith, hope, etc and a coin.