Humor BIBLE: Genesis Chapter 3 – Headline “The Asp of the Past” [Games, Poetry, Irony and Humor]

Words in italic type have been added for clarity. They are not found in the original Hebrew or Aramaic.

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Genesis 3

The Temptation and Fall of Man


Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more cunning (crafty, manipulative) than any beast of the field which the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God (Elohiym) indeed said (Did He really really say?), ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
  • In a garden everyone ‘nose’ the lettuce was a-head, because the potatoes only had eyes and the corn only had ears.

UNO (You Know)

Genesis 3:2-3 And the woman said to (answered) the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God (Elohiym) has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”
  • The tree in the middle of the garden was “knotty”.


Genesis 3:4-5 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God (Elohiym) knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God (Elohiym), knowing good and evil.”


Genesis 3:6-7 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.
  • How many “Apples” were there in the garden of Eden?
    At least nineteen:
    Eve ate (8), Adam ate (8) too (2),and the serpent won (1)
  • The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.
    Surprise! Surprise! It was an apple…
    But with extremely limited memory.
    Just 1 byte.
    Then everything crashed.
  • Any man can guess the number of seeds in an apple, but only God knows the number of apples in a seed.
  • Adam thought the apple was a date.


Genesis 3:7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened,
  • Ironically, having one’s eyes opened means to see “Truth” as it really is, and yet this “eye opening” event of sin brought about man’s spiritual blindness.


Genesis 3:7b and they knew that they were naked;


and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
  • Eve: “For the last time Adam, please rake up your dirty underwear.”
    Adam, resisting: “Nah, just let them ‘leave’.”
    Eve, angrily: “Fine! I hope you enjoy your salad.”

    She was a “mad-dame”.

– – – – –

  • Jesus is the tree of life:
    It took a tree to defeat the tree that defeated Adam as well as Eve.
  • The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil opens men eyes to evil. It is the Law – unnecessary for the innocent but fatally toxic to the rebellious, leading to death.
  • Trees
    Joyce Kilmer – 1886-1918

    I think that I shall never see
    A poem lovely as a tree…
    A tree that looks at God all day,
    And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
    A tree that may in summer wear
    A nest of robins in her hair;
    Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
    Who intimately lives with rain.

    Poems are made by fools like me,
    But only God can make a tree.
  • “Sins”
    Adam had’em
  • Sins are fleas that suck man’s blood
    unclean, diseased, carried by anopheles.
    “Come and drink this cup with me”
    ambrosia of eternities.


Genesis 3:8 And they heard the sound of the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) walking in the garden in the cool (literally: Spirit) of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) among the trees of the garden.
  • The First Game of Hide and Seek. Ever since, God has been seeking man and man has been thinking he could hide from God.


Genesis 3:9 Then the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”


Genesis 3:10 So he (Adam) said, “I heard Your (God’s) voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”
Genesis 3:11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked?
Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?”


Genesis 3:12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
  • And I ate=”NI8″
Genesis 3:13 And the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:14-15 So the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) said to the serpent:


“Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all cattle, and more than every beast of the field; on your belly you shall go, and you shall eat dust all the days of your life.
  • The man blamed the woman, the woman blamed the serpent, and the serpent did not have a leg to stand on.
  • The serpent, Satan, was a “de-feeted” enemy.
  • Man was made from the dust of the ground and the serpent devoured dust all the days of his life.


Genesis 3:15 And I (God) will put enmity (war) between you (Satan) and the woman (from the line of Eve all the way to Mary),
And between your (Satan’s) seed (descendants) and her (Eve’s) Seed (descendants);
  • Humor:
    • Eve: “Adam, I want some new clothes. I’m tired of this fig leaf.”
      Adam: “Take the fig or ‘leave’ it.”


He (Jesus) shall bruise your (the serpent’s) head,


and you (the serpent) shall bruise His heel.”


Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children;
  • New Math
    The serpent divided Adam and Eve, adding sin to mankind’s equation.
    And then from man, by Satan’s plan
    God was subtracted by the serpent’s persuasion.
    But God had a plan to neutralize sin thru multiple math calculations,
    When Mary conceived then men could believe
    in the new addition of God’s Son.


Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.


Genesis 3:17-19 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
  • God to Adam, “You chose Eve instead of Me.”
Genesis 3:18-19 “Cursed is the ground for your sake (because of you);
  • Ground to Adam: “‘Leave’ me out of this.”


In toil (hard work, sweat) you shall eat of it (from it) all the days of your life.
Genesis 3:18 Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you,
  • Thorns and thistles
    pricks and blisters
    seeding, weeding,
    sweat and brow.
  • Heeding, needing
    almost bleeding
    making rows
    with hands to plow.
Genesis 3:18 And you shall eat the herb of the field.
Genesis 3:19 In the sweat of your face (stress) you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust (red clay) you shall return.”
  • Man was made from dirt but women were made from prime rib.
  • God created Adam first so Eve wouldn’t tell Him how to fix Adam.
Genesis 3:20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.
  • How could “day one” of creation end when there wasn’t yet an “Eve”?
Genesis 3:21 Also for Adam and his wife the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) made tunics of skin, and clothed (covered) them.


Genesis 3:22-24 Then the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us (plural Godhead),
Genesis 3:22 to know good and evil. And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— 23 therefore the Lord (Yĕhovah) God (Elohiym) sent him out of the garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken.
  • Adam was made from “red clay”, from “matter”. “Matter” is comprised of “Atoms”. When Adam sinned and split from Eden it caused an Adamic explosion.


Genesis 3:24 So He drove out the man; and He placed cherubim (angels) at the east of the garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life (vs the tree of good and evil).

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